Temple Floor Sweeper in my Past Life

I think I should have been a professional demolisher.

Why?

Because I seem to be really good at destroying things and cleaning up. Not the glamorous kind of destruction either. More the everyday demolition jobs that no one volunteers for but somehow always fall into my hands.

At home, for example, I am never the one who cooks. My wife enjoys creating beautiful meals and experimenting in the kitchen. She comes alive when she cooks. I come alive when everything is messy and needs to disappear. The moment the plates are empty, I am already standing there with the precision of a Swiss machine, clearing, wiping, and restoring order like nothing ever happened. I do not even think about it. I run on instinct. Some people have flow states. I have cleanup mode.

Yesterday, I visited my sister’s restaurant Thai Thai Poppetje. You know, the place I shamelessly promoted as if I am part of their marketing team. My sister wanted help cleaning a room in the basement kitchen. My mother and I looked at the chaos. The chaos looked back. And then the chaos vanished. We cleared the entire space in less than two hours. Trash disappeared. Clutter evaporated. Things that had not moved in years suddenly found their place. When the restaurant staff came downstairs they stared at the empty room like they had just witnessed a magic show. I expected applause. Maybe confetti. Nothing happened, but I felt the inner glow of a demolition job well done.

And today the universe gifted me yet another opportunity to shine as a part time destroyer of old appliances. The kitchen specialist came to my property to remove an old broken dishwasher and a built in fridge freezer combination. I offered to help him so he would not need to bring an assistant. This saved me extra costs, which automatically increases my motivation by two hundred percent. I had already cleared the entire kitchen before he arrived. Everything that could get in the way was gone. The moment he stepped in we got to work. Two hours later we were finished and cleaned up. My tenants did not even get a chance to see us. They probably think appliances simply teleport in and out of the building.

At this point the evidence is overwhelming. I am good at clearing and cleaning. Very good. Suspiciously good. I have no idea where this comes from. Maybe it is my Swiss programming. Maybe it is a hidden family talent. Maybe in a past life I was a monk responsible for sweeping temple floors every day for fifty years.

All I know is this seems to be my strange little superpower. Some people build. Some people cook. Some people create.

I demolish, clear, and reset the world to zero.

Maybe I should start putting that on my business card.

Karl Tschopp Navarat

Professional Demolisher

Fast, efficient, and always on time